30 July 2015

Bears are scarier than deer....

The midwest has deer.
The west has big horned sheep.
Australia has kangaroos.

You get the picture, right? Every area of the world has some overwhelming representation of an animal that the rest of the world is amazed by.

Well, western North Carolina has black bears. Most of our stress for bird seed is keeping it bear safe with assurances that they won't get into our house. They love love love finch seed, but mangling any birdfeeder is a hobby of theirs.

Despite the fact it's a dirt road, this particular road is a fantastic shortcut up between my valley and the Blue Ridge Parkway, and plenty of people use it to hike, bike, etc. Black bears apparently think it's considerably easier to use getting down to the Wendy's dumpster as well.


So there he was. In the way. Finding rubbish and hoping for a good hamburger. While I've seen a good deal many bears so far, never have I seen one this close. I mean, like 6 feet close.


Here's where deer, big horned sheep, and kangaroos are remarkably different. All of those animals tend to pose. Also, when they feel threatened, they run away. This is a very important distinction from Mr. Bear. It would seem that my car was a little close for his sensibilities and he jumped at my car with his mouth open and growled!!!!!!! We will discuss the insanity that I felt it necessary to take a photo of that later, but in my defence, it just happened. Nowhere did I think "Oh, that's really cool that the bear is attacking my car; I'll get a photo of his big teeth....." 



Actually, I was shaking pretty badly, evidenced by the blurriness! I was so totally freaked. Deer never did that! Why did he? Big horned sheep just stand more majestically when they see a lens. Mr. Bear, however, was not impressed with my lens. Never was I more clear in that moment just how much damage a bear could cause to me if I had been actually standing in the road as his gigantic paws thudded down. 

I was very unhappy.

He was very unhappy.

We parted ways.

29 July 2015

First World Lunching Drama

Upon reflection, I realised how first world my lunch issues today actually were. But at the time, it was pretty tragic.

You see, it all started with my newly discovered lavender mint creme filled dark chocolate. Yeah. Exactly. Only the best of the best could be paired with such ambrosia.

As today was shaping up to be a dull day of slavery at the computer after a morning of bustling, I felt it appropriate to start it off properly with a proper lunch.

So, in pursuit of proper lunch, I opened my beautiful chocolate bar. I sniffed it. I gently caressed it. Then, I headed to my bar to make a proper gin and tonic with my lavender bitters topped with DRY lavender soda. (This only a day after I told my fitness trainer how good I am at eating properly.)

There was no DRY lavender soda.

I searched high and low, but only DRY vanilla soda. I inwardly raged at various local targets for not keeping it properly stocked. Standing there working through the grief cycle, I finally accepted that regardless of everything, I had to contend with the DRY vanilla soda as my mixer.

Life just sort of seeped out of me, but I rallied nicely by remembering how well bourbon and vanilla went together.

One sub-standard drink made later, I crawled sadly up to Ocean Room to tackle endless tasks of boringness, suddenly feeling the urge to watch the entire Bab5 series.

There lay the beautiful chocolate, rejuvenating my spirits nicely. On comes some nice ragtime music and I dance around a little before settling down to work.

Then.....disaster.

If they call that creme filled, then they have been given a crappy childhood. Seriously. My tongue searched hopelessly. Finally, I visually spot a drop or two of the stuff that greedily take in, now beyond hope with grumpiness and despair.

Yes, it tastes fine, but they said it was lavender mint creme filled. They lied and I sit here a victim of society, drinking bourbon and DRY vanilla soda with sub par creme chocolate.

I shall persevere. Somehow.

11 July 2015

PhD Journey Reflections

When Dr. Eichholz called me Dr. Willeke at the completion of my oral defence on April 28, I knew that the six-year journey had finally come to a close. This was heavily celebrated for the rest of the day, as posted at the time :) Then it really hit home when I received the notification from ProQuest that my dissertation had been published. I even took a moment to really consider the whole journey when I got the degree in the post, now safely filed with my other certifications and degrees.

So graduation was not needed for closure. My closure was experienced several times over.

But celebration was a different story.

I experienced a surge of ultimate glee when Dr. Eichholz gave my colleague, Laura, sitting next to me for the line-up, the victory sign! At that point, something really snapped in my head with the pure joy of accomplishment :)


My glee was somewhat diminished when I realised that I was the first, of all the hundreds there, to walk up. The first? FIRST? Granted, there are significant advantages to being first, but my fear was to lead the line wrong ... of which course I did! Then my stilettos, the first of many to step on the ramp, echoed. I swear they sounded like a bomb went off. I was relieved when Laura's stilettos joined mine behind me. 

However, all concerns dissipated when I saw Dr. Eichholz. As I felt the hood come over my head, there was nothing else except her, me, and the hood. 


Then there was that moment ... "am I allowed to hug her?" Suddenly, the realisation of photography and videography live streaming, not to mention the crowd in front me made me fearful that I couldn't hug her! In that second, I realised that I had come to see her ... and experience THIS moment WITH her.....and she confirmed that I could experience that moment with arms wide open. *tears of gratitude*



In a sense, my value of family came truly into focus as I realised how impossible it would have been to complete this accomplishment without them! I was so grateful that my parents and in-laws were supportive throughout the whole crazy six years and came to Washington DC to celebrate this moment with me ... and of course, Eric who was so steadfastly patient, and Ellie, who has never cognitively known me not working on my doctorate!



This is a good time to note the publication of my Dedication and Acknowledgements that is in my now published dissertation.

Dedication
My work on this dissertation and doctorate degree is dedicated to the people in my life who shaped me through a lens of whole-person thinking. I didn’t know it at the time, but the major influencers of my life communicated to me through experiences, not just cognitive learning. Rob and Joy Hartman, my parents, laid a foundation of ethics and experiential learning that keeps me grounded and confident in who I am. Leah Kaufman, my equestrian trainer, taught me perseverance despite fear, transforming that fear into a continual desire to improve my physical abilities. Alice Eichholz, my dissertation chair and doctoral mentor, did the same with scholarly writing and thinking, always setting expectations slightly higher than I thought I could achieve, and then helping me achieve them. Lastly, Eric Willeke, my husband, is always a gentle balance of support and expectation. As I work to provide relevant learning for others, the experience of this doctorate has increased my own self-awareness of my journey towards self-actualization.

Acknowledgements
Quite simply, this achievement would never have existed without the direct support of certain people. The one who suffered the most was my seven year old daughter, Leah Elle. Having started this degree when she was one, she has no idea what a mum is like without doctoral work constantly overshadowing free time. The next one who sacrificed for my achievement of this degree was my husband, Eric, who managed to handle tasks that we both hated, deal with my stress, and be my statistics hero. All of my friends and family deserve more than a simple thank you for listening to my whining, crying, and self-pity on more than one occasion without judgment (at least no outward judgment). For all of my professional colleagues, it won’t ever be forgotten that work was shuffled to support me when I begged off due to those rather constant doctoral deadlines. Lastly, but certainly not least, I appreciate the quality and care that Walden University faculty have for us as students. The commitment to scholarly excellence in expectations while respecting my busy life gave me the resources I need to be a lifelong scholar.


04 July 2015

Family Freedom


Hartford.
Portsmouth.
Boston.
Hartford.
Burlington.
Boston.
Manhattan.
DC.
Boston.
AVL for two whole weeks.
Back to DC.

That's a normal streak for a road warrior consultant, but it is not common among even that small population that the whole family is interwoven in any significant way, such as ours. Amusingly, our 8-year old has her own itinerary, bouncing between Florida, New England, Ohio, AVL, and yes, Aruba.

On this July 4 celebration of the USA's independence, it's only appropriate to reflect on the parallels of freedom we, the Willeke Family, are so fortunate to have. Some of that can be attributed to raw determination, but the beauty of true freedom is to be afforded the decision of how we want to live as a family. Some peers look at our family with admiration. Some look at our family in abject horror wondering how we maintain sanity. Who cares, right? It's quite possible that all three of us are slight change-of-scenery-junkies, chasing the unique feature of each place, discovering each day how much the world is the same everywhere at the core.

Each of us can disappear into a device in the same room hours at a time, but we're together. Each of can be in different states or even different countries, but we're together. Most importantly, however, all of us can sit around a bar drinking our July 4 beers (and apple juice served in a pint glass) taking turns spotting beautiful things around us, living in the moment.

Family. It is as fragile or strong as desired by  those in it; always requiring investment with exponential rewards.