I rush in to ensure I can reserve my 50lb tree while I shop. Of course this is the one time that the annoying "welcome to Fry's" dude isn't there. I rush to the floral department even though I know better. I finally literally run down a manager yelling "SIR, SIR, SIR" until he had to acknowledge me. He seems in shock that I care so much about it, and explains that they are on the sale because they are starting to dry out. While I can only think "but you charge $25 for a bunch of crappy cut flowers", I just smile and ask to get a ticket so I can check out. I found his shruggy attitude of "just tell the clerk when you check out" terrifying because there are only 12 out there and I fully expected a dozen people to come flocking in the next ten minutes demanding their Mediterranean Fan Palm. How could they not? He did not share my concern.
I race around the store in extreme panic that my precious palm will be gone by the time that I get up front, but shockingly, when I arrive, not even one person had snatched up my prize. Clearly people here have no sense of value. In fact, the check-out clerk seemed completely confused about the whole process and acted like I was the strange one for wanting it. Whatever people! The florist is paged, and in her apparent relief to ditch a palm on an unsuspecting victim, is very helpful as I ask her to stand guard next to my baby as I grab my car.
Her expression as I pull up with my MiniCooper is indescribable.
Only at the loading point do I realize these things have thorns. That was an unpleasant 10 minutes as I provided the shopper's entertainment and misery of the florist getting that thing in the car.
I very proudly pull out, the owner of my very own 4 foot Mediterranean Fan Palm with my hatch up, blinkers on, going 30 miles per hour in constant panic that I may hurt the palm. Elle is equally ecstatic and panicked, giving little "ouch" sounds when she tries to hold the branches and remembers that it hurts to hold just like it did 2 second previously. z4's and other such sports car zip around me with incredulous looks as I proudly beam with excitement of my new purchase thinking "yeah, you buzz me like that with your stupid little sports car. I have a Mediterranean Fan Palm and the fact that you don't makes you an incredible loser."
They seemed to have a different perspective.
Arriving home, Elle leaped out (actually crawled out extremely cautiously) and ran to each arriving car to their flat announcing our new purchase. Neighbors were in awe, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the positive awe.
Meanwhile, my porch is becoming quite the exotic potted plant garden as people shake their heads and shop for their fake Christmas trees.
