Cost savings gone too far...
My company distributed a newsletter with the following exciting news:

Some cost saving measures having immediate impact includes,
Eliminate all travel (since we are a global company, this should be interesting)
Discontinue consulting services (I hate consultants, so this works for me, except I'm sure we won't be hiring anybody with their expertise...)
Postpone training (Great! Now that we don't have consultants, and no expertise, why not forget training too? Sounds reasonable.)
Stop office supplies and consumables expenditures (Oh definitely. Especially when we can be making our own paper with the trees out front)
Hunt down non-quality costs (Since they've cut out quality costs, I'll be very curious to see what they define as non-quality costs. I personally vote for the quality and cost savings departments to be cut)